dear depression diary,
today is a good day.
yesterday was the anniversary of my brother’s murder, the event that triggered my depression. despite how much I miss his presence, I managed to get through the day okay. I know I owe that strength not only to myself for being able to accept my struggle, but also to the family and friends that support me daily — especially my mom. for 12.5 years I kept my mental state from her because I know thinking about that day is so much harder for her than it is for me. I did not want to be the reason her day was ruined, I didn’t want to be a downer for her. but after we talked and I explained why I kept her in the dark for so long, I realized that even though tears were shed, it was comforting to talk to someone who remembers him exactly the way I do. she wanted to be that person that talked me through my rough days; my ear, my shoulder, my rock. so we spent an hour talking, reliving memories and laughing through tears — she is honestly so amazing.
lesson for today: sometimes, it’s the most unlikely individuals that help you find the light in your darkest moments (thanks mom)