dear depression diary,

I was raped.

that is only the fourth time I’ve admitted this out loud (well, as out loud as it can be on a screen) and it is honestly still something I attempt to justify because I honestly can’t seem to come to terms with the fact that I was raped by someone I was in a relationship with.

I always had this misconception that people were only raped by strangers or friends of friends, maybe even sometimes their own friends. but a boyfriend, sometimes even a spouse, I wanted to believe that was something that could never happen. I still can’t bring myself to talk about the details, thinking about it… remembering it… it’s still painful.

but it happened.

someone who was never supposed to hurt me, damaged me in the most unimaginable and permanent ways.

I don’t know if I’ll ever heal from that.

lesson of the day: speak up, when you’re ready. tell your truth, when you’re ready. and until you are ready, now that there is someone out there who gets it. I’m here. I’m with you. I love you.

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