entry #12

dear depression diary,

nothing exciting to report, I just came here to say I have the most amazing (not) boyfriend.

so it’s getting close to nine o’clock here and I’ve already started three posts that I just can’t finish. not because I don’t have anything to say, but because I just could not get my thoughts together. so we’re sitting here, watching the sinner and I say out loud “ugh, I want to write today but I just can’t get a full post out”. and he says, “why don’t you write about how you’ve been treating me like shit today” as he laughs. and then I realize, this is exactly what I want to write about. ** not the treating him like shit part, because we actually had an amazing day, I just like to tease him a little.

I am in the happiest relationship I’ve been in since high school, I honestly can’t get enough of him.

I have a man who supports me through and through, but also calls me out on my bullshit. someone who challenges me, when I’m wrong and to be better. my triumphs are his triumphs and his are mine. when I feel like I’m failing he is the one who reminds me how amazing I am and how much I have done right. he encourages me to keep going and to try again even when I don’t think I have the strength left in me. even right now, as I’m sitting here experiencing writer’s block; he throws out ideas that spark an entire blog post. he fills my days with so much happiness and laughter that some days I forget I even suffer from depression/ depressive states. and what’s even better, is that on the days when my depression does hit, he’s right there – holding me, talking to me, letting me cry, cooking me food -making sure I know that I am never doing this alone. even when we disagree and argue, I know that I am loved and that we are still okay. we talk like adults, there’s no yelling or cussing or physicalities .. everything with him is just healthy and comfortable and real. at the end of the day, I know I have someone that will always do things with me, we will always be in each other’s corner.

even though I don’t need him, I want him and everything he is .. he only makes me better.

lesson of the day: enjoy the little things like playful banter that can turn into an entire story, because every moment is a story waiting to be told.

Author: eclecticallylyn

I have had a million and one stories to tell, but was quieted by my fear. Time to break my silence.

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