i refuse to let it in

this feeling, these thoughts

of never seeing you again

it might actually kill me

my whole life you’ve been there

with kind words and endless love

one of the few who really cared

what will this world be without you?

I am scared, absolutely terrified

that the sadness will never leave

once I let it inside

but I have to, I must

not only for my sake

but for my little humans

who would bear the toll it takes

so I will try, to cry and grieve this loss

knowing damn well it will tear me apart

knowing damn well it will break my heart.