dear depression diary,
thinking back, I can’t believe there was ever a time when I didn’t prioritize myself.
I always have been and (probably) always will be–a people pleaser. if there’s one thing I wish I could tell my younger self is to make sure she puts her energy into people who will put that same energy into her. in my late teens and early twenties, I let the opinions of others dictate my life so much that I would have done just about anything for their approval and acceptance. I stole, I drank, went places I know I shouldn’t have been with people I knew were not good for me. I knew better, but it took a long time to actually do better. I was 100% a ‘yes girl’ because I thought if I said no, I would have no friends.
protect your motherfucking peace!
put yourself first! sure it sounds selfish, but you’re allowed to be selfish when your happiness and peace of mind are at stake. I’m not saying a self-absorbed asshole, I’m saying not to sacrifice your happiness and integrity to please someone else. the people who mind your prioritizing yourself don’t matter, and the people who matter won’t mind at all.
I was once so obsessed with the quantity of my ‘friends’ that I didn’t always appreciate the quality. I shut out people who loved and accepted me for everything I was and, oftentimes was not, for people who basically used me as their ‘duff’. once I realized that I was willing to be more for them than they were for me, it was easier to sever ties. slowly, but surely, I learned to weed out the baddies in my life and surrounded myself with people whose interest and integrity complemented my own. the title friend is reserved for the people who understand the importance of growth, someone who will join you on your journey and keep you on a path of progression.
my circle is a lot smaller but it’s solid as fuck.
lesson of the day: you are invaluable and the only people who deserve your energy and time are the ones who recognize and respect that.