mental health the in-between

the fear that held me back

“my fears cannot go where I’m headed. they have no authority over my life”

it is easier to succumb to fear than to fight it but, if there’s one thing I’ve learned on my journey, it’s that fear is the heaviest baggage I’ve ever carried. I had to sit down and really face them head on in order to grow and learn into the person I want to be. some of my fears are shared between the masses: single mother who will never find love, always loving someone harder than others love me, unworthy or undeserving of love, etc. but some of my fears–and I’m going to be very vulnerable here–were much, MUCH deeper. I feared the man I thought was sent to me after my brother’s death was my soulmate, and I would never have another. I was afraid that the work I’d done would never be enough, because I was eternally and deeply flawed. I feared my little humans would look at me and, blind to everything I’ve done to give them a more than comfortable life, would still compare me to the parent that barely does the minimum to make sure that they’re taken care of. doesn’t help that he’s the person who held power over me for so long, it is a sucky fucking feeling to believe you don’t hold a candle to someone who, in actuality, doesn’t hold a candle to you.

whatever fear is holding you back in your life, take the steps you need to take to overcome it. it won’t be easy and you might have to face a couple of demons before you get to the root of it all and begin the healing process. there’s no rush, just don’t let it keep a hold on you forever. once you start the process of breaking those chains, life will open up in ways you may have never imagined. during these stages of growth, there is nowhere to go but up.

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