love languages have been connected to intimate bonds and relationships for so long that we often forget we are capable of taking care of ourselves in the same way others can. sure, it’s nice to have someone to care for us in the ways we like to be cared for but, to me, it is much more gratifying to say “I did that, by myself, and I am proud of me ❤

“I give myself what I need, I expect no one else to do that for me”

physical touch

physical touch is probably one of the more challenging languages to satisfy on our own, but it’s not impossible. with a little creativity, here are a few things we can do:

if you have the means to splurge a little, a spa day or deluxe mani/pedi are sure-fire ways to satisfy our need for skin to skin contact. I don’t know about anyone else’s nail salon, but my technician does this hot seaweed wrap that is to die for whenever I decide to go the deluxe way.

for those of us on a budget (like I am 98% of the time), I have a slight obsession with buying new blankets. find a blanket that feels just right, curl up on the couch or the bed and just wrap yourself up. another, and more cost-efficient alternative is to have a friend on call for cuddle sessions and warm hugs.

Photo by Sora Shimazaki on
words of affirmation

when you master the art of self-affirmation, you set a foundation for being your best self. for some of us, self-affirmation comes effortlessly. for others (like me), sometimes we need to be reminded just how incredible we truly are.

retailers like Sassy Jones and Amazon offer a variety of affirmation decks that help set the foundation for the day ahead. there are also planners and notebooks that

for those of us not ready to splurge on physical affirmation incentives, free apps like moonly, mantra, and I am send daily motivations straight to your phone. there are also bloggers who post daily affirmations cards via their social media. what it is you chose, look in the mirror and spoil yourself with words.

Photo by Spencer Selover on
acts of service

no one will serve you better than you serve yourself. do the things that fill you with happiness and spoil yourself with simple acts of service.

purging, rearranging, and reorgazining are simple acts of service that leave us feeling accomplished and fulfilled. we give our home a face lift and make it feel like a brand new space. if you’re someone who is generally organized, try cooking yourself a nice meal after a long day. & if you’re feeling really spicy, pair with a nice glass of wine or a cocktail – I love a good tequila and cran.

for all my fellow bloggers, scheduling posts and creating content in advance are a nice way to get ahead of schedule and leave time for some much needed R&R.

Photo by Ebuka Onyewuchi on
receiving gifts

a gift from yourself holds just as much weight as a gift from someone else, sometimes they matter a little more. whether you go all out or keep it simple, don’t forget no one will spoil you like you.

if you’ve got a little extra money to spend, treat yourself to a weekend getaway. go someplace you’ve never been or a place that sends your heart racing and just be in those moments, just you and yourself.

if the weekend getaway isn’t in the cards right now, treat yourself to something that makes you happy or invest in yourself. one of my favorite ways to treat myself is to head to any (sometimes all three) local Goodwill and buy new books. whatever your guilty pleasure may be, it’s never the wrong time to spoil yourself.

Photo by Monstera on
quality time

honestly, quality time should be a priority even if it’s not your love language. we are always learning and changing, it’s important to take moments to reconnect and reacqutaint ourselves with who we are as we grow.

the possibilities are endless when it comes to spending some QT with yourself. make a cup of coffee or tea and read a book. spend a day binging rom-coms or a television show that’s been on your need to watch list. have a solo lunch, dinner or movie date – hell, do all three and just enjoy the happiness that comes with having the whole bucket of popcorn to yourself.

spending a day out in nature walking, hiking or biking is a different kind of feeling. make a playlist that makes you smile and celebrates your life in this moment and just be enjoy your independence.

5 responses to “self love languages”

  1. Cassie Avatar

    I really love this idea. As a single mom, life can be hard. People focus on self-care, which is great, but this concept takes it another level. I think we need to do more of taking romantic overtures and turn them inward. There’s so much to be said for being comfortable with yourself. A lot of people are not, so finding ways to celebrate yourself and honor who you are as a person, I’m all for.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Molly | Transatlantic Notes Avatar

    I really love how you’ve connected Gary Chapman’s love languages to showing ourselves love; this is such a great way to nurture our well-being. Great post and ideas!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Me Avatar

    I love how you have made this connection. Loving and taking care of others has always come easier to me than loving and taking care of myself. Thank you for this lovely reminder of how I can love myself better.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. eclecticallylyn Avatar

      I love that this resonated with you 🧡

      believe me, I come back to this post often as a reminder of how to love myself in my darker moments.

      Liked by 1 person

  4. Best Blogs to Read this February Avatar

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