what a year it has been!

2022 was full of laughter, love, loss, new life, great memories, and reminders that life is short and every day should be cherished as if it’s the last. as a Black woman in America, the events that kicked off the summer really took a toll on my mental and emotional health. it was hard to just be knowing that the world was in a state of heightened chaos, especially as a mother. there were moments when I would look at my kids and fight the urge to break down because this is not the world I want them to know. yet, at the same time, I felt so passionately about what was going on because Black and brown lives DO matter, and it is shameful that in 2022 people are still being gunned down based solely on the color of their skin. watching what was happening in this country week after week broke me in a way I didn’t think I could be broken anymore, and so I took a step back from everything and everyone and focused on what matters most to me – my little family unit. speaking of family, one of the best things 2022 brought me was our latest (and last!) addition to our family. He was a summer surprise and then a winter surprise when he decided to make his way into this world three months early. he is a tremendous part of my family’s renewed happiness and the greatest blessing brought to me this year.

as a mom of three, I know it’s going to be more challenging than ever to find moments for myself, but I have to in order to give the best version of myself to those around me. last year, I had a list of 22 things I wanted to do this year, and even though I didn’t cross them all off the list, I’m stepping into 2023 with a new list of goals and a focus on me!

1. organize my library

I’ve been collecting books since the 5th grade and have them all over the place — on shelves, on my dresser, under my bed, in my closet on the floor, etc. this year, I wanted to cover my bedroom wall in shelves and have all my books in a central place, with a few plants and pictures riddled in between.

3. publish my writing

earlier this year I started a collection of poetry centering the struggles, prejudice and perseverance of Black and brown people in America. I wrote what would essentially be half of my book and then lost momentum when things got emotionally overwhelming. this year, I want to finish the collection and be ready for publication on Juneteenth in honor of my people and ancestors. I also have a collection of short stories I’d love to publish at some point this year once they’re all edited. wish me luck, this will be the toughest one to accomplish 🤞🏾

5. read six books

I spent a lot of time this year treating myself to indie books with marginalized characters, but only got around to reading one with everyone that was going on. in 2023, I want to complete six of them; I want to be inspired, read something that makes me feel seen and understood, and learn about other communities, their strength and the hurdles they’ve overcome (fictional and nonfictional).

7. build my credit

whew chile! anyone who knew me in my early twenties knows I made some questionable decisions and often sacrificed my stability for people who got what they needed from me and then left me to deal with the consequences. now that I’m back in a stable position and rebuilding my foundation, it’s time for me to take the next step and get my credit where it needs to be to be able to buy the home my kiddos (and my partner and I) deserve.

2. date myself

2022 was all about taking more time for my partner and my kids, we connected on a different level, grew in love and experienced happiness at all time highs. but 2023 is about ME, I’m going to be a little selfish, and that’s okay. 2023 is all about solo dates – movie dates that don’t require me to run a toddler back and forth to the bathroom, lunch/dinner dates with my current book and new wine selections, paint and sips, solo hikes, and mini shopping sprees here and there. I’m going to spoil myself next year, I’ve put everyone else first for so long I deserve it.

4. lose baby weight

Peanut was an unexpected but truly welcomed surprise! He didn’t cause me to pack on the pounds like 10 & 4 did, but I definitely gained a few unwanted pounds. next year I’m going to be nicer to my body, eat healthier, workout more, find ways to relieve stress and communicate better. it’s so easy to focus on the more obvious aspects of weight gain/loss that we often forget our mental and emotional health also take a toll on our bodies; I want to make sure I’m taking care of myself in all aspects in order to be able to do the things I need to do and remain focused on my goals.

6. (finally) graduate college

I started college straight out of high school and shortly after, life took the reins. 13 years and three changes in my major, and three kids later — I’m finally entering my last semester of undergrad! loss, the depression that comes with it, and other obstacles along the way have slowed down my journey but nothing will ever stop it! I will hold my diploma proudly before the end of 2023 and step into the next part of my journey with renewed pride!

2 responses to “making room for me in 2023”

  1. Stuart Danker Avatar

    These are some great goals you have lined up. And as a fellow writer, I’m going to wish you all the best with getting published! It’s an exciting journey, but a tough one for sure. Will be checking in again in 2023 for sure!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. eclecticallylyn Avatar

      I appreciate that, I feel like self publishing is going to be my best option budget wise right now. can’t wait to catch up later in the year and see what we’ve both accomplished! happy (early) new year 🥂


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