through the eyes

through the eyes 
     where the magic lies
bringing to life
     all the beautiful sights 
from vibrant hues
      to the dullest blues
the eyes behold
      as our lives unfold

through the eyes
      where the magic lies
all the memories 
      of you and me 

b r o n x

the hustle and bustle of the city fascinates me as my feet pound the pavement of the Bronx City sidewalks

spicy aromas waft into my nostrils as I pass a bodega on my right, and my mouth water from the thought of the made to order chopped cheese I’d had the day before

remembering how the cheese, mayo, onions and ground beef melt into each other between the soft hoagie roll slows down my steps for a split second; but I keep moving

playful exchanges between lovers and friends as they watch the children play fill the air with a beautiful loudness; for the first time in my life, I welcome the noise

Big Pun walks alongside me donned in suit and tie on the brick wall of Rogers Place, and I’, taken by this city bursting with sound and color

scattered amongst the murals, local artists have exalted the walls of apartment buildings and gas stations with creations from the depths of their imaginations

as I approach the door of the art museum, I take one last look around. then I close my eyes and take in all the sounds and smells before opening the door and stepping inside

with so much beauty outside these doors, I could not wait to see what beauty resides behind them

restless.

restless is the heart, so lonesome, it aches

with a longing so intense it’s hard to bear

piece by piece, until it finally breaks

and I wonder, if you knew, would you care?

*

*

restless are the endless nights that I lay

staring at the empty space where you slept

wishing for the warmth of your embrace

and the safe feeling I got as I dreamt

*

*

restless is the mind that wonders each night

how you’re doing and what you’ve been up to

my phone vibrates and I’m hoping it might

be you, missing me, the way I miss you

*

*

just as my eyes adjust, I read your name

my heart confirmed, because you feel the same

she’s still the baddest chick.

today is one that will always call for extra celebration; it’s my mommy’s birthday.

no matter how old I get, she will always be mommy to me

the woman who holds me when I cry and laughs by my side. the woman who sacrificed more than I ever understood to give my sister and I the best life she could. the woman who advocates for my little humans more than she advocates for me (I love how much she loves my kids). she is kind, smart, so creative! in high school, my friend’s only spent the night for my mom’s infamous saturday morning breakfasts; hanging out with me was just a plus! everything I know about being a mom, I owe to her.

here’s a throwback from last year, love you Ma.

happy birthday

born 05-20, yeah she may be getting older but they all still know. Shay-Bay ain’t the one that you play about, and that’s fact from the source no word of mouth. living her best life, yeah she’s somebody’s wife, with a bachelor’s degree, certified RT. showed me and lil sis that it’s never too late to buckle down, boss up, be black and great! through success and failure she continues to rise, and her crown may be heavy but she holds her high. phenomenal woman but you already knew, no one deserves the title quite as much as you. melanin ain’t crackin and her looks still slay, just her presence alone could brighten your day. melanin ain’t crackin and her looks still slay, just her presence alone could brighten your day.

lingerie.

Lingerie

the silky floral-patterned cloth you rip off of me

                then you let your fingers linger

 like the smell of your cologne

                fresh out of the shower

down on me like the rain during spring

                when the flowers blossom

into this person that comes alive

                whenever I’m with you

bwa.

see me

cocoa brown all a

round like the curves

the twist and turns of my coils

that you chastise and deem unfit

for the workplace

but really, any place that you are in

see me

standing tall and proud

in a crowd that thinks they know

what I’m about and what

I stand for

see me

putting love into a world

that has loved me

in the most toxic ways

without ever

seeing me

no time taken to

see me

hear me

feel me

you say my fears and my tears

are unwarranted

malicious intent is no stranger

to the smooth talker with

the underlying message

meant to condescend

me.

your talk is cheap

we both know if the opportunity

arose

you would not feel the same

stay in your own lane

this shit ain’t for the weak

and honestly,

you could never be me

black woman in america.

rest, assured.

your love language may be acts of service, but you are a man of words
how is it that I forgot to love you the way I love to be loved?
the way that you love me

you know deceit and betrayal as well as I do
maybe even on a deeper level 
I should have cared better for your heart, my apologies

there should have been no room for doubt
you are the greatest love I've ever known
let me remind you why

your hugs are still the safest I've felt with anyone
and that is how I will always feel 
and when you kiss me 

lips. cheek. nose. forehead. even from across the room
in those moments, I am still consumed with happiness 
so much so that even if they were the last I had with you

I would still be happy to have had them at all. 

these reasons, these feelings .. they happened as they should
we happened, just as we should
you were worth the wait. 

everything that you are
and have the potential to be
you are the best friend I never knew I needed

there should have been no room for doubt
you are the greatest love I've ever known
I will never let you forget the reasons why

weigh station

the day we met

we were just a boy and a girl
stranded at a weigh station
with baggage heavier than either of us could have known

we were just two people with weary hearts
low expectations, but hopeful all the same
for something better than we’d known before

we were so different but still the same
crippled trust from past relationships and the pain they caused
defenses built high behind the barricades

201 days later

we are just a boy and a girl
learning to open up and love again
figuring out how to be in it, without being dependent

we are just two people falling
in love with who we are together
and all the growth we’ve made thus far

we are so different but still the same
lacking communication and understanding in the most trying times
stubborn and stuck in our old ways

and still

we are just a boy and a girl
chipping away at each other’s walls
knocking down the barricades

we are still two people growing
by ourselves and as a unit
because we know who we want to be

we are so different but still the same
you and me
the beginning and the end at the weigh station

sister, sister

your eyes change with the seasons

the ever-changing seasons of you

winter blues that mimic the sky when the snow falls

green like the flower’s stem that spring up from their roots, anew

soft grays like the storms that seem to disrupt all the seasons

these beautiful seasons of you

hazel with the golden flecks that burn like the fiery embers of the summer sun

warm brown like the trunks of trees that harbor the colorful leaves

the ever-changing leaves that change with the seasons

each season anew, just like the seasons of

y o u.

me too (pt. 3)

because I said no when you asked me if I wanted to

because we went to sleep and I thought you understood that no means no

because I woke up to you forcing yourself inside me

because I kept asking you to stop, and you kept going

because you didn’t care that every stroke hurt my mind, body, and soul

because the pain made me cry

because the crying is what made you stop, not my begging and pleading

because you had the audacity to be mad at me after you were done doing what you did

because you woke up the next day and acted like nothing happened

because I SAID NO .. and you did it anyway.